“Mama Knows Best”

sheeplaughs   February 22, 2016   Comments Off on “Mama Knows Best”

mama_knows_best_cov
“Mama Knows Best!”

(The Mother’s Day Version of “How To Be Spiritually Fit”)
by Fred Passmore
copyright 2006

Synopsis: Wishing to get something “religious” for his Mama for Mother’s Day, a well-intentioned but misled man orders an advertised do-it-yourself Christian self-improvement program from a TV infomercial. When it arrives, he heads over to his mother’s house to give it to her. Recognizing the futility of trying to take such a shortcut to spiritual health, the mother declines to try it, but her son demonstrates it for her, with painful (but hilarious) results! Picking up the pieces when it’s all over, she helps her son to grasp the true path to spiritual growth and health.

soundtrack_key_bannerSoundtrack key: This is the type of script where your actors deliver their lines and the soundtrack supplies the background music and sound effects as the script calls for them.

Number of cast: 2
Length of play: 18-20 minutes.
Category: Mother’s Day, Comedic, Medium-length skit
Price of script PDF & MP3 Skit Trax: Instant download: $14.99 Add to Cart
Price of Script PDF and Physical CD:
$19.99 plus shipping Add To Cart

 YOU MAY ALSO ORDER THE SCRIPT AND SOUNDTRACK AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE.

Characters: Louie, the son ordering the kit, who is 30-something. Mama, who warns him and then helps him, in her 60’s. (These are the same characters from the script “Mama’s Close Call.”)

NOTE: This script is also available in a version for an all-female cast, and the character of Louie is changed to Louise. It is included in the purchase package.

Costumes: Casual clothes for Louie, a housecoat for Mama and a pair of large, colorful, fuzzy animal-shaped house slippers. The more ridiculous looking, the better!

Props: Box with the letters “Spiritually Fit Kit” on the outside, large enough to hold all the props that go inside the kit. (You may print out the sign here.) A boom box, hand-held mirror, iron, plastic police nightstick (can be found at a costume store or a place like Party City), large plastic cross necklace, (also available at the costume store or Party City, or you could cut one out of white foam core board), manila envelope, CD in case. Bible for Mom. Box of tissues. Some fake dollar bills, or real ones if you want to use them. TV remote. A laundry basket with some towels in it.

Setting: A living room, with a comfy chair, table and lamp, card or dining table. May be as minimal as a card table and a couple of folding chairs.

(A general description of the script; not all details or scenes are here, but it gives you a very good overall picture of what it is like.)

Mama Knows Best!
Written by Frederick Passmore

Mama comes onstage with a laundry basket full of towels to fold. As she sits down to get busy, her phone rings, and she speaks with her son Louie, who wants to come over to give her something. While waiting for him, she turns on the TV to watch while she folds. A commercial is playing that advertises an item called “The Spiritually Fit Kit,” and the creator, Miss Fitt, promises a healthy spiritual life when the program and exercises are followed. Mama scoffs at the notion, and as she wonders out loud what kind of silly person would fall for such a thing, her son springs into the room, proudly displaying his Mother’s Day gift for her… the Spiritually Fit Kit!

script_preview_graphicPreview a PDF page of the script that contains the scene above by clicking here: mama_knows_best_sample_01

As Louie proudly shows off his present, singing its praises and trying to convince her how helpful it will be to her, Mama is making fun of him for his gullibility and simple-mindedness. When she sees that he is disappointed that she is not willing to use the program, she suggests that he try it out first so she can see how well it works. Her plan is to let him find out for himself that there are no shortcuts to spiritual strength and wellness.

Agreeing to her suggestion, Louie opens the package and observes the contents of the box, reading the enclosed usage directions. Taking out a CD, he borrows his mother’s boombox and puts it in. The voice of Miss Fitt comes on, welcoming him to the program and a new life of vibrant and active faith. As the program gets under way, Miss Fitt instructs him to take the first item from the box, which is a large plastic cross on a string. She tells him that he must wear this around his neck to let proudly everyone know he is a Christian. Then she leads him in the Miss Fitt “victory dance” which she does on TV, and he looks ridiculous as he does the short jig as she sings “This Little Light Of Mine.”

script_preview_graphicPreview a PDF page of the script that contains the scene above by clicking here: mama_knows_best_sample_02

Next, Miss Fitt informs him that the Holy Spirit wouldn’t want to live in a run-down shack any more then we would, so he needs to get in shape by pumping iron. She instructs him to take out item #2, which is an actual clothes iron! Putting him through a series of actions as he hefts the iron, she speeds up her directions as he gets worn out.  As the CD guide continues, Louie is put through a series of increasingly humiliating exercises, each one with the goal of correcting some spiritual fault, or increasing one’s spiritual strength… all using physical activity to try and accomplish.

As Mama sits back and watched the amusing display, Louie is getting more tired and discouraged. The last activity involves self-punishment, and he uses the included police billy club to beat himself over the head with repeatedly. Concerned now, Mama is worried about his well-being, but the last command from Miss Fitt is for him to repeat all the action, in a quick recap, as she yells out the orders and he hustles about the stage, working out, humiliating himself, hitting himself with the nightstick, and so on. When its all over, she tells him that if he does this every day, he will be spiritually fit! This last bit if info drives him over the edge, and he grabs the nightstick, smashing the items on the table, the boombox, and even taking a swing at Mama as she tries to intervene.

As the skit wraps up, Mama helps him to understand the proper path to spiritual health and strength. Gathering the items together to get a refund, Louie informs her of what he plans to spend the money on… another kit called “Preaching The Gospel For Fun and Profit.” twirling up one of the towels she was folding, Mama begins snapping it at him, chasing him out of the room!

script_preview_graphicPreview a PDF page of the script that contains the scene above by clicking here: mama_knows_best_sample_03

listen

Preview the soundtrack and listen to some of the effects and music provided for the skit by clicking on the player below. (COMING SOON!)

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Read some of the testimonials about the script from just a few of the many users:

Fred,

The Northgate Wesleyan Church in Owosso, MI will be performing your skit “Mama Knows Best” on April 27.
We are looking forward to using this skit on April 27th. We did a different skit by you 2 years ago and had such great response and laughter that we want to do another one. Your gift to us with your talents of writing is such a blessing and we want to THANK YOU! for this. Please don’t stop because they are GREAT!!!
God’s Blessings,
Jan Oliver

Fred,

I just wanted to let you know that I just performed “Mama Knows Best,” this past Mother’s Day. The skit of course was awesome and everybody loved it. I had several mothers come up to me and tell me that the skit was what they needed. But there is more to this than just the skit itself.

The girl that had been practicing with me, called me Sunday morning (just hours before we were suppose to perform the skit) and told me that she could not be at church to do the skit. Her mother-in-law has been on a waiting list for a liver transplant and the hospital called and said they had a liver for her. Praise God for the new liver! I was happy to hear this but I was depressed that I was not going to be able to perform the skit. When I got to the church and told my pastor what had happen and that there was not going to be a skit, he felt like I did. When I went into the sanctuary to put everything back on the stage, I noticed that everything needed for Mama was still there. All of sudden it hit me…I needed to get my wife to be my Mama! She knew about 2/3 of the skit because she ran lines with me. After much convincing she said yes and she put on the wig, housecoat, and slippers. With a little bit of practice on the other 1/3 of the skit, she got up there and performed it like a pro. God is so good! A mother got a liver she needed and my wife (who is also a mother) got up on stage with me to perform the skit that was meant to be performed on Mother’s Day.

Thank you for your ministry and I cannot wait until I perform another one of your skits. May God bless you and your ministry.

-Kevin Sprague

Hello, Fred!
The Emmanuel Baptist Church in Lansing, North Carolina did “Mamma Know Best,” on Mother’s Day.
Everyone just LOVED the skit! It was gut busting laughs. Almost felt like we should “pause” so everyone could catch their breath at times.
The Pastor’s wife loved it so much that we have previewed “The Pastor’s BBQ” and I am about to order that as well for our Pastor Appreciation Fellowship. Thanks a million for the skit and the soundtrack. We all were very pleased and due to that, we are ordering our second skit from you! Thanks and May God Bless! Laughter is like a medicine.
-June Williams

Dear Fred,
The Bethel Baptist Church of Taylorville, IL will be doing “Mama Knows Best” on January 11.
After using the “Assignment: Witness!” skit two years ago for Youth Sunday, I knew right where to come to look for another skit to perform for our upcoming Youth Sunday service. It’s a Sunday service put on totally by our youth group. They had so much fun with the last skit and it was well received by the congregation. At first I thought it would just be a fun thing for them to do, but I was really impressed when, several months later, they were still talking about it and I even overheard one of the girls sharing the message of the skit to a non-church going friend during our lock-in later that year. Thanks so much for providing these great skits and the soundtracks to go with them. The soundtracks really make all the difference and the congregation was very impressed with the quality of the overall performance.
-Nichole Spain

Dear Fred,
The House of Hope Church of God in Otto, NC will be doing “Mama Knows Best” on May 10, -possibly May 11.
I love the skit! My husband and I pastor the House of Hope. In preparing for our Ladies Banquet for Mothers Day, I was searching for a humorous skit with a message to perform for the ladies. I “happened” upon your website while I was searching. It’s great! I know we will be using your materials in the future.
I also am a writer. I’ve had four plays published with Eldridge Publishing over the years. Your material is well written and produced. I’m so glad to have found it!
-Renee Vinson
Fred,

Okay, if you liked the story breakdown, and enjoyed the Skit Trax previews, and were encouraged by the testimonials of those that have done it, buy the complete script and soundtrack here! 

buy_mp3Get the script PDF (to print out) and audio tracks (to burn to your own CD) here. Price of script PDF and Skit Trax MP3: $14.99: Add to Cart
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Get the physical CD mailed to you by ordering here. You will be taken to a page where you can print out the script PDF as well as an email containing the script PDF. Price of Script PDF and Physical CD:  $19.99 plus shipping: Add To Cart

mail_orderOrder through the mail with a check or money order by printing out this order form and mailing it to us. Click to open or download:  Printable order form

Questions before ordering? Call me at 912-347-9579!

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