“The Man With The Shellfish Heart”

sheeplaughs   February 1, 2018   Comments Off on “The Man With The Shellfish Heart”

“The Man With The Shellfish Heart”
Written by Frederick Passmore
Copyright 2009-2018 Sheep Laughs Publications

Synopsis: A hardboiled private detective, looking for the heir to a fortune, stumbles on a sad, depressed shell of a man who has had his heart broken. But things get sticky when he gets trapped by a musselman who refuses to clam up. Insensitive at first, the Christian P.I. begins to realize that his own heart has been clammed up about God’s love for too long. They both learn something about opening up to others and the love of Christ that compels us to bear one another’s burdens. Runs about 8-10 minutes, and is great for Friendship Day.
Soundtrack key: This is the type of script where your actors deliver their lines and the soundtrack supplies the background music and sound effects as the script calls for them.

NOTE: Comes with a fully-produced demo track that can be used for a puppet show if desired.

Length of play: 8-10 minutes
Number of cast: Two, with some extras at other tables if desired.
Category: Comedic, Duet, Medium-Length Skit, Modern-Day Parable
Price of script pdf & Skit Trax MP3: Instant download: $12.99 –Add to Cart
Price of script pdf & Physical CD: $14.99 plus shipping – Add To Cart


CHARACTERS: Wrigley – The Private Detective. “Oyster” Stu – the man at the table

PROPS: A bottle of root beer, a pack of chewing gum, a business card, a badge, a pocket notepad, a bottle opener.

COSTUMES: For Wrigley: Fedora hat and knee-length trenchcoat, if possible. For Stu: jeans and old T-shirt.

STAGE: The setting is the inside of a seafood raw bar and grill. All that is needed is a small table and a couple of chairs. On the table is a napkin holder, salt and pepper shakers, and a candle in a glass candle holder, lit for atmosphere. More tables and chairs may be added in the background if desired. The set may be as simple or as elaborate, with ocean-themed decorations, as desired. Extras may be sitting at the other tables and acting as if talking.

(A general description of the script; not all details or scenes are here, but it gives you an overall picture of what it is like.)

As the skit opens, a narration by the main character is heard, setting up the “noir” atmosphere and situation. The private eye, embodying every movie 40’s detective cliche there is, is there to find the heir to a fortune that has gone missing. Looking around the seafood bar, he spots a likely suspect and moves in to confirm his identity. However, in talking to the down-and-out fellow, he soon finds out that he has made a mistake, and tries to leave. But although the man professes to want to be alone, his refusal to stop talking and let Wrigley leave tells another story. Not wanting to appear rude, the detective reluctantly sits down with an air of resignation to listen to the distraught man for a few minutes.

script_preview_graphicPreview a PDF page of the script that contains the scene above by clicking here: the_man_w_shellfish_heart_sample_01

 As Stu relates his sad (yet hilarious) story, a tale of lost love that broke his heart, Wrigley is impatient to be on his way. But every time he is about to leave, Stu starts again with another comically-tragic aspect of his life. After hearing the amusing story of star-crossed lovers gone wrong,  and all the grief that Stu is wallowing in, Wrigley offers him some advice about opening up his crusty and closed-off heart to the Lord, who is the only one that can truly cure the loneliness inside. Unwilling to listen, Stu tells the gumshoe to hit the road and take his religion with him.  Turning to leave with some relief, Wrigley is about to head out the door when Stu yells after him. Angrily denouncing him, Stu tells him to get out of there and leave him alone like everyone else in his life has, not to worry about old Stu. Pausing, Wrigley finally begins to realize that being alone is the last thing that Stu really wants, and what he needs is someone to reach out to him with more than platitudes.

script_preview_graphicPreview a PDF page of the script that contains the scene above by clicking here: the_man_w_shellfish_heart_sample_02

Going back to Stu, Wrigley apologizes for being self-centered, and invites him to go to a Men’s fellowship meeting for Bible study and food. Encouraged by the show of friendship, Stu rallies and decides to go. Breaking out in a smile, he claps his new buddy on the back as they leave. The closing voice-over narration by Wrigley shows that he learned that he himself has had a heart that was shut up toward his fellow man, and that sometimes people need a friend more than just advice.


Preview the demo track by clicking on the player below. 


Read some of the testimonials about the script from just a few of the many users:

(Found online on a church drama message board)

…an author that I’ve heard four/five pieces from that are really incredibly cute is Fred Passmore.

He wrote the winning duo piece (Carillo/Carillo), the winning and third place OI piece (Gabby Elliot and Sam Nasser), and the second-place HI piece (Marshall Sherman) at the Regional tournament this last weekend.
If you can find one of his pieces that aren’t being done… then it’s a great idea… make sure you follow the directions before taking the script though.

The pieces that are taken are:

The Great Church Robbery
Battle of the Sexes: Round One
The Man with the Shellfish Heart
Mamma’s Close Call
The Testimony Show

Every one of the above pieces has placed at one or more tourneys. The Battle of the Sexes: Round One, is done by Carrillo/Carrillo, and they have gotten first place at every Texas tourney this year, except for the ASAP, (Weatherford) practice tourney in November of last year. And that was because they didn’t have the duo’s at that tournament. The Testimony Show, which is done by Carrillo/Elliott, has placed third in Houston for the practice tourney, and third in Dallas, at the Pre-Regional Q. Mamma’s Close Call, done by Michelle Carrillo of Carrillo/Elliott, has been the first place HI ever since it came on the scene, in Corpus Christi, and again here in Dallas at the Pre-Q. My piece, The Man with the Shellfish Heart, has placed second in Houston for the practice tourney, and again here in Dallas it placed second. And the Great Church Robbery, done by Samantha Nasser (my debate partner) has only been on the scene for the Dallas Pre-Regional Q, and placed fourth in OI.

So Fred Passmore’s stuff is good. He has winning pieces in almost every IE, except DI. He has two pieces in HI, first and second place, I might add; the consistently winning and almost-as-consistent third place duo, and a fourth-place OI.
Marshall Sherman

And then I heard from Mr. Sherman, below:


I will be performing “Crazy for Christ,” and “The Man with the Shellfish Heart” all over the country. I am in a speech and debate league, NCFCA (www.ncfca.org) and I will be using this in competition all over the US, hopefully.
I love these scripts! My friends are going to use “Battle of the Sexes: Round One.” That is really funny. Thank you for doing this!
-Marshall Sherman

-Below, the skit is performed by a church that posted the image online with a report about the fun had that evening. You can see how they decorated the background for the skit!

Okay, if you liked the story breakdown, and enjoyed the Skit Trax previews, and were encouraged by the testimonials of those that have done it, buy the complete script and soundtrack here! 

buy_mp3Get the script PDF (to print out) and audio tracks (to burn to your own CD) here.
Price of script pdf & Skit Trax MP3: Instant download: $12.99 –Add to Cart


Get the physical CD mailed to you by ordering here. You will be taken to a page where you can print out the script PDF as well as an email containing the script PDF.
Price of script pdf & Physical CD: $14.99 plus shipping – Add To Cart

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What We Offer:

Dramatic Plays:
Our plays range from 20 minutes all the way up to 80 minutes. They are written to engage the viewer, make them think, to impact the emotions, and present the Gospel in such a way that they perceive it as meeting the needs of their life. The aim is to bless the believer, and give the person that has never made a decision for Christ a desire to invite Him into their life.

Comedic Skits:
Our skits range in length from 5 minutes up to 20 minutes. While most are comedic in nature, using humor to impart a perspective that may not have been considered, the laughs are all tied into the message, and there is always a resolution that leads the viewer into consideration of the Truth contained in it. The humor can be enjoyed by all ages.

The soundtracks that we make to accompany the scripts add drama and emotional impact to the script’s performance. There are two different kinds of script and soundtrack; the kind where you do the lines live and the soundtrack is played at certain times during the performance; and second, the kind that supplies all the narration, music and effects mixed together to play as the actors perform, with no lines to learn. Each script description page tells you which kind it is under the “Soundtrack Key.”